


Back to the Roots

by Lovesikk



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Bisexuality, Drama & Romance, F/F, Lesbian, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovesikk/pseuds/Lovesikk
Summary: ***SPOILER Warning***Pls don’t read if you want to finish and experience the ending yourself!! I also talk about two other endings!Set right after the Panam ending, V sets out with Panam and the rest of the Aldecados to find a solution before her body fully rejects her.
Relationships: Female V/Panam Palmer
Comments: 34
Kudos: 260





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! Im actually very surprised theres no fanfics about Panam haha. I felt like the chemistry between female V and Panam had potential to become a relationship. Kinda disappointed they couldn’t be a thing but thats why I’m making this story :)

**_6 months_**.

That’s what V was told the time she had. If she was lucky, maybe a _couple_ more.

Saying goodbye to Night City was the best decision she made, that and **Panam** was by her side supporting her through it all. Sitting atop the Panzer. Wind flowing, generating a soft breeze as the machine was set in autopilot mode. Hair whipping and tickling her face. A soft _hiss_ was heard as Panam exited to join her under the starry night sky.

As V took off the necklace with the same bullet that should’ve ended her life. Like Misty had stated in her Tarot “new beginnings”. That she was going to have a good life..

The necklace jingled as it flowed in the wind. Before slipping through V’s hand.   
Whipping her head back and watching it fall into the water below. And then..it was just gone.   
  


Just like...so many people in her life.

Panam scooches closer to her, hand gently placed on V’s forearm. Her thumb rubbing back and forth.

V learned that touch was a sign of affection from the girl. And the way her body language was, it was as if it was telling V.

”Don’t worry, I’m here for you if you need me.”

She could feel her heart thumping in her throat. Their eyes meeting and faces just inches away from doing _something_ that was unspoken.   
  
  


Some more silence followed before Panam pointed up at the sky. 

“Looks like the stars are extra bright tonight.”

”Mhm.” V nodded. 

  
—————————————

After some star gazing, Panam yawns and stretches.   
  


“It’s been a _long_ day. I’m gonna get some shut eye, you comin’?”

She had undone her bun which V had never witnessed before.   
Long back locs fell past her shoulder and to the middle of her back.   
  


V inwardly groaned to herself as she soaked in the beauty of a woman in front of her.

“Uhh sure.”

  
The two hopped back into their rightful seats, V laid back as she tucked her arms under her head.   
  


Eyes closing, although the constant squeak of the seat next to her was indefinitely distracting her from sleep. 

  
Panam on the other hand, groaned in frustration as she constantly tossed and turned.   
  


She was overthinking their little moment.   
  


Ignoring the small tingling in her chest that she felt as she stared into the former merc’s forest green eyes.   
  
Her eyebrows furrowed. She had too much on her mind after recent events but sleep would not come to her.   
She was not new to feelings or liking someone, she was _new_ to liking someone or feeling anything for someone of the same sex.

It was like the night right before they raided Arasaka. She barely slept a wink til V walked right up the cliff and made her feel like she could conquer the world. 

Or the night spent together in shelter from the sandstorm.   
  
But this is what friends do right? Be there for each other? Have each others’ backs? 

Opening her eyes, Panam peeked over her shoulder to check if her fellow nomad was asleep.   
  


Dread trickled into her chest with V looking so peaceful, as if she had passed. She remembered the moment V decided to reveal the truth about the Relic and V’s dilemma with only living for half a year.   
  


The horrid feeling was _amplified_ by those statements and Panam was scared that she was going to get herself in too deep with this person.   
  


She climbs up to lean against the fast asleep V. Finding comfort in the warm body next to her despite the small space of the Panzer.

_What exactly did she **want** with V? _   
  


A question Panam figured she’d worry about in days to come. But for now, she’ll settle for getting the sleep she needs. 

  
  


—————— **The Next Day** ——————

  
Panam stirs awake to see an arm draped over her shoulder by none other than V herself.   
  


Guess during their sleep the two adjusted to a more comfortable position that was possible for one seat. Her head was propped up on V’s chest. 

She could hear the beat of V’s heart going strong. The soft inhale and exhale from the woman beneath her. 

The nomad sits up and makes sure she doesn’t disturb V as she exits the Panzer. Seeing that they had reached their destination.

Aldecaldos were nearby, setting up camp and Panam went to greet everyone.   
  


———— **Meanwhile** ————

V shoots up and bangs her head against the Panzer pilot window.   
She had forgotten she was in such a tiny space to be moving sporadically like that. 

Putting her hand on the now aching spot like her hand would ease the pain, she groaned and popped the window open.   
  


The sun shined bright over the desert land they decided to camp on. She breathed in the crisp air and let out a satisfied hum. A part of her nomad self knew she _yearned_ for this. Somewhere she could call home, people she could trust.   
  


She was part of a _family_ again.   
  


“Good mornin’, you sleep good V?”   
  


Mitch leaned onto the Panzer.

She hopped down and stretched.   
  


“Probably the best I’ve slept in a _long_ time.”   
  


The camp seemed bustling with energy as everyone was helping load supplies, pitching tents and other things down from the vehicles. 

Panam at the front, directing the flow.

”Proud of her. She’s really taken up the mantle ever since Saul...well you know.” Mitch trailed off as they watched the woman.   
  


V crossed her arms and leaned against the Panzer as she stared. Taking in the view of Panam leaned over the table, speaking to fellow Aldecaldos.   
  


An image of her locs down and her looking at V with that _intoxicating_ smirk and raised eyebrow popped up in her head. 

_“Jesus V stop it. Panam has said before she wanted to be friends. **JUST** **friends**.”_

Her thoughts were interrupted thankfully due to Mitch nudging her.   
  


“Wanna help me tune up the Panzer? I know that ride was long.”

V shrugged, wasn’t as if she had anything else going on.

“Sure why not.”   
  


It was a weird feeling. To not have anything to do. Back in Night City she felt like she was on the move constantly. Well, with Johnny in the back of her head she had no choice really.   
  


Or the fact that she was supposed to die in 6 months. Other than the heavy thoughts clouding her mind, V felt better than ever.   
  


She strolled into the large tent as Mitch parked the Panzer into it.   
  


He hopped out and started inspecting the vehicle.   
  
“She’s still pretty banged up from when we raided Arasaka but other than that..she looks good. Just needs some slight touching up here..”

Mitch crouched down to removed a large panel on the vehicle’s side.

V assisted and lifted it up for him as he looked closely for anything out of place like stray wires. 

After helping him with the large panel, she basically acted like an assistant. Handing him a tool when he needed, holding up some heavy part as he looked deeper in the machine.   
  


At the end of it, both were smeared in machine grease and dirt combined. 

  
She had spent an hour or two with him. More if it was possible. Til an Aldecaldo named Mikey walked in.   
  


“V? Panam is looking for you.” He looked around the tent and spotted V from behind the large machine.   
  


V looked up at him, face and arms covered in grease and sweat.   
  


“I’ll see in her in a sec. You good here Mitch?”   
  


Mitch nodded. 

“All good here, you’ve helped me get done with what was supposed to be a couple days full of work haha.”   
  


V stood up, she had left her jacket in her tent so she was only wearing her black sports bra, army green pants, and black combat boots.

”Alright lets have a beer later yeah? “

  
”Yeah V.” He waves before hopping inside the Panzer, probably to tinker with whatever inside.

V exited the tent and sees that the bustling energy had slowed down. Everyone was settling down in their beds, the tables, and logs by the campfires.   
  
The sky was getting dark as she made her way to Panam’s tent, the flap closed as if to tell others not to disturb her.   
  


“Panam? You there?” V’s voice was low not wanting to wake the girl if she was fast asleep. Today was busy and she wanted Panam to sleep good after all she’s done.

”Yeah, come in.”   
  



	2. Chapter 2

_“Panam? You there?” V’s voice was low not wanting to wake the girl if she was fast asleep. Today was busy and she wanted Panam to sleep good after all she’s done._

_”Yeah, come in.”  
  
_

—————————————

V steps into the tent, moving the flap with her hand.   
  
The girl hung her pants and jacket up on a hanger on one of the rails of her tent. It was dark but V could still make out her figure curled up in her sheets.

As she neared the woman she could hear her sniffling and see the slight trembling.

V planted herself at the edge of the bed. Placing her hand on Panam’s shoulder.

“Hey..” V mutters.   
  


Panam sits up, taking V’s and making her arm go over her shoulders as she leaned against her.   
  


“Hey.” Panam replies.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable for the two but V decided to try her best to comfort the girl.   
  


“What’s on your mind?” 

“It-It’s just...we lost so many _good people_..and it’s _**my fault**_.” Panam wipes the tears from her face only for more to flow.

V shakes her head. If only she didn't think to call Panam. If _**only** _she didn't think to rely on this woman. This was all _**her** _doing.   
  


“I should’ve never called. Maybe then you all would’ve been better off.” She sighs.

Panam sat up more, her stare so intense it could've bore a hole through V's head.

”If you never called I-I-god..who _knows_ where you would have ended up.” 

“Probably dead somewhere else.” V didn’t mean for it to sound so grim but it was the truth. She knew if hadn’t called Panam her other options were _suicide_ , even cross the _Blackwall_ with Alt and let Johnny _have_ her body.   
  
  


“I don’t want that. Don’t want you _dead_ at all. You’re _too precious_ to me.” Panam mumbles and pulls V into an unexpected hug.   
  


Being her friend, she knew Panam was sentimental, she showed her true self. With no care of how she looked in front of others.   
  


V hugged back, ignoring the way the other woman's scent made her head buzz. 

”We’ll find a way. One way or another. I’m not goin’ nowhere.” She felt like she was lying. As if half a year wouldn’t _fly_ by. But reassuring Panam was her main priority as of right now.

  
“I believe you. And if you’re _bullshittin_ ’ me I swear I’ll bring you back from the dead and make you wish you _never_ met me.”

_“Practically impossible for me to ever feel that way.”_  
  
V thought.

She rubbed Panam’s back as the girl fought to stay awake.   
  


“Someone’s tired. Maybe it's time for you to actually sleep.”   
  


“Yeah yeah. You too V. And..thanks again..for always being there for me."

”Night.” V waited till the girl was fast asleep in her cot before exiting the tent.   
  


The moon shined high in the sky with the stars as company. 

There was a small campfire lit with Mitch and some fellow Aldecaldos sitting around it.

V remembered that she promised a beer with the man.  
  


“Hey V! Glad you could join us! Have a drink.”

Mitch smiled as he tossed her bottle. She took a couple swigs before sitting down in one of the unoccupied chairs.   
  


"So, how you likin' the nomad life again?" 

One of them asked.

V shrugged. "I can't complain. Better than being stuck in that hell hole called Night City."

"Yeah. But it's thanks to you we got Panam back." Mitch smiled as he cheered to the statement before drinking the bottle.

V stared hard at the fire. "How about you all?"

"It's been a harsh couple of days. I can admit. But..we're _alive_ and kickin'. That's all I can ask for really." Dakota replied.

"I could see better days for sure. These losses hit _hard_." Carol sighed.

The small group sat in silence. Relishing in their own pains, own difficulties while simultaneously drinking to cope with it all. It wasn't long before the fire died out and everyone bid their farewells and headed to their tents to sleep.

V's tent was a little farther away from the other Aldecaldos. It was the guilt in her chest that was making her keep everyone at an arm's length.

She flopped onto her cot and lay on her side. Arm tucked under her head as she picked at her thoughts. 

Maybe she should've dealt with the Relic, dealt with Arasaka all on her own. 

All V could feel was remorse. She was to blame for another **life** being lost thanks to her. 

Thanks to her not being able to do anything on her own. 

If only she hadn't called Panam. If only she minded her business and let Panam get revenge on those Raffens on her own.

If only she...she hadn't let Jackie and her get into that messy job with Dexter.

It all came crashing down on her at once, she rolled and laid on her back. 

Maybe she should just up and leave, be on her own, and die so that nobody has to worry about her anymore.

She shut her eyes with a heavy sigh and let sleep release her from the shackles of her mind.

—————Couple days later—————

Panam was following her leads of a nomad gang named the **Panthers** that had some useful intel on a type of “ _Fountain_ _of Youth_ ”. Some say it could cure any type of disease or heal the body from any long lasting injury or disability.

She looked at the map spread out on the table before her.

It was a gamble for her. And she wanted to have absolutely _**no** _casualties if the Panthers were hostile.

Last she heard they had headed east, little past the desert land and towards more what was heard to be a forest.

They had to pack up and move once more.   
  


Such is the nomad life and nobody had complaints.   
  


Panam wondered what V was up to all this time but she seemed occupied as she helped fellow Aldecaldos around the camp pack their things and tend to the children for busy parents. 

It was heartwarming to see how good she was with children. Least entertaining them when the parents packed.

”V are you and Panam best friends?” Panam heard one of the kids ask as they sat around the ex-merc.

”Yeah, we’re very good friends why?” She raised an eyebrow as she sipped on her water.

“Well Tyler asked if you two will ever be _girlfriends_?”   
  


The question made the woman choke on her drink causing her to start coughing.   
Panam smirked in the background, watching the kids bombard V with demanding questions.

The parents saved her in the nick of time. Scolding their children for asking such nosy questions.   
  


Panam was taken off guard by the girlfriend question. Do her and V really _hang_ around each other that much? She reminisced back to the abandoned home.   
  


She’ll admit she was a bit flirty at times but she never thought it’d go anywhere. That and V’s a woman.   
  
And Panam preferred men. Least she that’s what she _thought_ til V came along.   
  


Maybe Panam just really cares for her as a friend? Although she didn’t have time to delve into her thoughts as her duties of chief came first.   
  


She mapped the route they’d be taking. 

\----- **Departure** \-----

There was a river that stretched far up and they could set camp once they were a little closer to where the Panthers should be.

Mitch flew the Panzer this time. With one aiding Aldecaldo so his brain wouldn’t _fry_. 

Panam in her truck, V on her motorcycle. Everyone was ready to go. 

So they set off, the drive was going to be long and Panam was a bummed out that V didn't want to ride with her. 

She peered out her window to see V riding next to her driver's side, looking lost in thought. 

Panam snapped her head forward as the drive became more rocky and required more focus on driving than the woman next to her. 

\----- **One looonggg drive later** \-----

V felt like her whole body _ached_. 

Arms tired and back stiff from **8 hours** of sitting on her motorcycle. 

She avoided riding with Panam although that drive would've been more of a relief than what she was feeling right now. 

Plopping herself in her bed, she sighed in bliss at the comfort of her cot. 

Staring hard at the roof of tent. The dim light of her lantern on the box next to her. 

_"Panam. Panam Palmer. What have you done to my mind?"_

Chief of the Aldecaldos. Her closest and dearest friend. 

The trust they built was something V missed after feeling so alone when Jackie died. 

And for her to risk her life the way she did, her clan's life just to help V made V felt guilt.

It ate her up inside to know that many good people lost their lives that day because _she_ decided to call Panam for help. Because _she_ was too weak to do it on her own. How many lives were lost because of her. 

_Jackie. Takemura. Saul._ Hell. She even felt guilty that _Johnny_ chose to go with Alt through the Blackwall. She should've gave Johnny her body. Maybe he would have lived it better than she would of in these next months. A groan escaped her mouth and she frowned. Covering her face with her hands before ruffling her hair and turning on her side. 

_"Is this the right thing to do? Am I on the right path? Fuck do I even know?"_

Her fatigue began to kick in as she felt her eyes grow heavy. 

\--------------------  
  


V woke up with an agonizing pain, as if her body was on _fire_.   
  


She grasped her pillow hard as if to try and deal with the pain.   
  


At this rate, she couldn’t even move as her breathing became labored. Curling up into a ball, sweat dribbled down her forehead as she groaned once more. The pain didn’t let up and V felt like she was going insane.   
  


And all she could do was sit in it. Drown in her pain as her body began _**destroying** _itself. Thinking of her as a virus.   
  


Carol peered in and rushed over.

”Hey V you still wan-oh _shit!_ Hold on I’ll get help.”

Her footsteps faded as V cried out. Waves and waves of agonizing pain crashed into her. Just when she thought things were okay. Panam rushed in.   
  
  


“V you’re bleeding!” She took a small towel and held it to V’s nose.   
  
Who tried to grasp Panam’s wrist.   
  


“I-I’m fine. Just a little tired is all.” She said weakly as she attempted to sit up. It felt like she being weighed down by a ton of bricks.   
  


Panam shoved her back down.   
  


“Lay _**down**_. And I _better_ not see you outside of this tent until you’re rested. I’ll be back with some pain meds.” She snapped.   
  


V had no choice but to obey, she’s seen Panam’s bad side and she definitely didn’t want to experience that by being stubborn.   
She laid on her back once more. The pain subsided enough for her to bear.   
  


Her head was throbbing. And her world started to spin as she felt herself black out.   
  
————— **Meanwhile** ————— 

Panam rushed to see if anyone had medical supplies.   
  


She was given some Max Doc’s that would probably help ease V’s pain. Returning to the tent, V was lying there.   
  


And after further inspection, Panam frowned as she pulled the near by stool close to the side of the woman’s bed.   
  


“Must of passed out from that huh V? I’m sorry...”

Dabbing a moist towel across the girl’s face to cool her down, leaning a little close, she could see V’s face up close and noticed she even had a couple moles.

One on the right side, above her lips.   
  


Another on her cheek.   
  


Not to mention the tiny scars which were from past scuffs that V never spoke about. But hey, not like Panam ever noticed them anyways so she wouldn’t have thought to ask.   
  
V’s face twisted in pain as she twitched.   
  
The other girl could only gently brush V’s head as an attempt to ease her discomfort. Her body twitched and her chest heaved in labored breaths.

”J-Jackie.”

V mumbled.   
  


“I’m sorry Jackie..” She trailed off. Tears fell briefly as the girl turned in her unconscious state.   
  


Panam wiped the tears dry with a sorrowful expression. She wanted to soak up as much time with V before her...demise. Her eyes teared up at the thought of losing _another_ loved one.   
  
But she felt like this death would _**devastate** _her.   
  


She tried to remain hopeful, optimistic even. This “Fountain of Youth” sounded like something out of a fantasy book.   
  


_“What if you get worse before we get there? What if..I'm too late? What if I **lose** you V?"_

Panam watched over her unconscious friend closely, everyone else would be resting from the drive so she had time. Mitch and Carol walked in to see how V was doing. 

"She alright now?" Carol asked, setting the jug of water down that was indefinitely for V and Panam. 

Panam rested her elbows on her knees as she groaned.

"I don't know. She just passed out, probably from the pain." 

Mitch patted her shoulder. 

"It's okay Panam. We'll find the help we need. Everyone is here to help." 

His words reassured her. 

"Thanks you two." Was all she could muster up to say without wanting to break down and cry. 

"You should get some rest too Panam. Can't have you _dozing_ off and ignore your duties as chief now." He joked as if trying to lighten the mood.

The three chuckled a bit and Panam shook her head. "I'm _fine_ here. You guys go get your rest."

Carol and Mitch stepped out and Panam was alone again. She thought about what she was feeling for V was no more than some silly want to become her friend. But with them being the close friends they were..she didn't realize it had to be something more than that. No matter how much she _denied_ it in her mind. Ever since the departure-no maybe even before that, Panam would catch herself admiring V. 

In her sports top that showed off her toned abs. Or the way her arm muscles rippled while carrying heavy items. Or her the way her lips-Panam slapped her cheeks as if to snap her out of her little daydream. She could remember their first meeting as if it was just yesterday. 

Bent over the hood of a temporary vehicle, mad about losing her beloved truck. 

She remembered the way her breath hitched in her throat at the sight of the woman asking for her.

Panam began to think maybe she wanted something _more_ than what she thought with V. 

And wasn't sure it was a _good_ or _bad_ thing..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do you guys like it so far? I genuinely love the Panam ending because it leaves it on such an open note. Anything could really happen.


	3. Chapter 3

Panam _began to think maybe she wanted something more than what she thought with V._

_And wasn't sure it was a good or bad thing.._

\--------------------------------

V woke up with her head _slightly_ pounding. There was a cup of water and pain pill next on her small table which she thankfully chugged. She sat up and saw Panam fast asleep on the stool. She was hunched over V's cot, locs cascading and spilling down her shoulder and back. 

The sunlight protruded through the tiny holes of her tent. Creating such a soft effect on how _gorgeous_ Panam looked. V whipped her phone out and snapped a picture she'd definitely use later to tease the poor woman. 

Reaching out, V pushed some of Panam's locs that covered her face. Causing the woman to stir and look at her groggily. "My god my back is _killing_ me right now." 

She sat up and stretched backwards while letting out a relieving groan. 

"Yunno, I figured we're close enough to share a bed instead of you napping on my hard stool." V smirked. 

Panam stood up as V hopped out of her cot, her legs a little weak. 

"With what happened to you last night, I'd rather you have your whole cot and get the rest you need. Are you feeling better?" She leaned over and placed her hand on V's forehead. Who brushed the hand off after a couple of moments.

"I'm fine. Just took my pain pills. Anything else I need to do _doc_?" V waved.

"Just stay out of trouble okay? I woke up later than I planned to. I have to go figure out where these damned Panther nomads are." 

She strolled out only to be followed by V.

"The _Panthers_? Are they friends of yours?" 

Panam swallowed. "Not...exactly. One of the Aldecaldos was once a Panther, you met him. His name is Mikey."

"Ooohh. Okay. So what is it then? A ripperdoc with special procedures? Or do they have the tech that might help me heal my body?"

They walked together towards the large table where Panam's map was. 

"It's called the Fountain of Youth. And supposably the Panthers know it's location."

V crossed her arms. "A fountain? What is that gonna do?"

"Supposed to heal you from what I hear. No matter how _bad_ your injury is, or how _critical_ of a condition your in."

She couldn't be upset. Rather have any opportunity to live out her days like she wanted without a time limit of when she's _supposed_ to die. Even if she already made peace with it. 

If this was a way then V trusted Panam would try to her best like she always had. Just as Panam would trust her if V was in her position.   
  
  


“Anything I can do to help?”

Panam rubbed her chin.   
  


“Actually yes..can you and Mitch do some recon? Scout the outer area and maybe see if there’s any clues that the Panthers are around?”

“Sure thing.”   
  


V started to walk and find Mitch but Panam gently tugged on the back of her jacket.   
  


“Please don’t be reckless V. If you’re not feeling well don’t act like you’re fine. And you two be safe when you head out.”

V gave a reassuring smile and placed a firm grip on V’s hand.   
  


Squeezing it gently as if trying to ease the worried woman. “Everything’ll be fine.”

Letting go and walking away to find Mitch, V wondered if Panam’s overly concerned actions stemmed from V’s short life span. Or..maybe something else?   
  


_“Who am I kidding? She rejected my advances before. And we’re good friends like she wanted_.”   
  
V headed to where Mitch usually was, tinkerng with the Panzer.

_“But why do I **want** more?”_

The thought sank into her like an anchor. Weighing her down with each step she took. As if every step she made, she could feel her heart ache more and more.   
  


It didn't help one bit that Panam invaded her mind as if she was a virus herself.

A _sweet_ , _intoxicating_ one.   
  


She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and shoved her feelings down once more. Mitch was standing there, arms crossed, waiting for her arrival.   
  


“You want to take my ride or yours? Either way I’ll be driving.” He stated.

”We can take mine. And that’s fine with me.” V agreed as they headed to her other car. A gift from a woman named Claire in Night City whom V did some street races with.   
  


They hopped in the truck, Mitch pulling out from the camp and driving out some miles to see if they could spot anything out of the ordinary. But all they found so far was sand, cactuses, and a speck in the distance of the horizon.  
  


“That must be the forest Panam was talkin’ bout.”   
  
  


“Probably be better to check out if we were using the the Panzer.”

Mitch circled back and steered left, they searched high and low. Taking note of the landscape they were camping on and then he spoke up.   
  


“I wanted to ask you this yesterday but felt like it would’ve been better in a private conversation.”

V raised turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Ask away.”

Although she kinda had a feeling it revolved around a _certain_ dread headed woman.

”Do you like Panam?”

Aand she was right.

”Of course. We became great friends over everything that has happened.”   
  


Mitch laughed as he steered the car. The truck engine roaring as he gained more speed.  
  


“No V I’m asking if you **_like_** her. Don’t play dumb here. I see how you look at her.”   
  


V cursed at herself. Maybe she was a _little_ too open at times but she couldn’t help herself around that woman.   
  


She sat in silence for a moment. Trying to gather the courage to say a simple yes to his question.   
  


But it felt as if there was lump in her throat. And she was a little nervous to answer. Even though Panam wasn’t there to hear the answer. Admitting it was more mortifying than V thought.   
  


“You’re not gonna tell her are you?” She had a little shake in her voice. It was the fear of losing the closeness she had with Panam. Especially since she didn't feel the same. V didn’t want to drift away and distance herself due to awkward situation.   
  


Which is exactly why she _dreaded_ feelings.   
  


“Heh. So is that a _yes_? And no I won’t tell her. Seems a bit inconsiderate of me if I did. I care about the both of you.” He answered.

The answer calmed V down a little.   
  


“I think I do? I think I’m just in denial cause I don’t want to ruin what we have at all.” 

Mitch shifted in his seat.

“Given the circumstances, I understand. Especially with you having a known time limit on your life.”

V felt a pang of pain in her chest at the possibility of her not being able to spend some type of _forever_ with Panam.

“Yeah..I really care about her. I was _terrified_ facing Adam Smasher with her next to me. And after what he did to Saul...” 

“Mhm. Wanted to throw yourself in harms way before she could ever get hurt hm? That’s what feelings do to ya.”

The truck rocked as the terrain became less flat and more uneven.   
  
  


“I think you’ll tell her in time. I’ll be honest, _never_ seen her trust someone the way she trusts you. Everytime she had a dilemma, she’d mutter about callin’ you for help. And you’d be right there!”   
  


Mitch slapped the wheel in amusement from his comment.

“Like a dog. Oh man Mitch I really must have it _bad_.” V facepalmed.   
  
  


“You sure do my friend. But I mean, never thought Panam _liked_ girls. She aint ever showed interest in em’.”

Mitch shrugged.

”Another reason why I’m not keen on wanting to pursue anything with her. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to confess my feelings _at all._ ”

The man sighed. “Either way V, it’ll come out one day. Yunno. But I’ll be here to talk if things ever go south.”   
  


A small smile grew on V’s face.   
  


To be surrounded by people who wanted to help her. No ulterior motives. No worry about being manipulated or betrayed.   
  


Made her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.   
  


“Thanks Mitch. I really appreciate that.”

————— **Evening** —————

Panam awaited their arrival anxiously. Worried that V might have had another episode like that again. Or _worse_ they got attacked by some unknown enemy.

She began to think about the way V gently grasped her hand. The way it made her heat up. Panam raised her hand and inspected it like she could _see_ the very spot V’s hand touched and lingered.   
  


And wondered when their relationship became so sentimental and intimate. Maybe because the possibility of death was nearing closer and closer to V everyday.   
Panam was determined to fight that and make sure her friend would live _longer_ than that. V deserved it.

The Aldecaldos were beat from moving and Panam figured it’d be best to take V and her to the forest in a day or two with the Panzer since it only holds two passengers. See if they could locate any hints of a nomad clan passing through.   
  


She propped herself on the bar and helped herself to a bottle. Casually sipping the beer ever so often. Looking at the empty space where V’s truck was.   
  


Mikey walked up. Leaning against the bar next to her.   
  


“Any word yet?”

”No, nothing. Guess they’re still doing some recon.” Panam took another sip before popping open a new bottle.   
  


“Take it easy Panam, you still gotta be conscious when they get back.”   
  


“I will. Just need to unwind.” The answer came out a little snappier than she intended but Mikey understood before taking his leave.   
  


——————————  
  


V felt like the recon took the whole day but Mitch and her wanted to be as thorough as possible.   
  
She ended up driving as Mitch napped on their way back to camp. It felt like everything that was occurring after leaving Night City was filled with so much meaning. Well to V at least.   
  


She stared at the open desert in front of her. Tearing up a bit. The moonlight highlights dunes of sand as she sped by.   
  


Life was so fragile.   
  


When they reached camp, she found Panam lounging around where V last parked. Socializing with a group of Aldecaldos. Joking, laughing with them.   
  


Seeing the beam from V’s truck grabbed everyone’s attention as they turned their heads.   
  
V nudged Mitch awake who woke up confused at first.   
  


“Wha-Huh? Oh we’re back.” He grumbled before opening the passenger door and hopping out.   
  


V shut the truck off before exiting her vehicle.   
  


Walking up to where everyone was socializing, they welcomed V with open arms.   
  


“You must be thirsty girl, go grab some water, or a beer if that’s your taste.” Faye smiled. She was one of the Aldecaldos that was a bit on the older side and always trying to make sure everyone's belly's were full. V smiled and headed to the bar, grabbing some water. Deciding to abstain from beer for now since her health was on the decline. Panam was quick on her heels, hopping on the bar. 

"Hey you. Mitch filled me in on the recon. You two were gone longer than expected." 

There was a slight higher tone in Panam's voice that V caught. She turned and gave a closer look to see the other woman was obivously drunk. 

"How many beers did you have? I can totally tell you're drunk." V asked as she handed some water to her. 

Panam swayed a little on the bar, making V watch her in case she fell. 

"Not enough. I'm just soooo bothered by my thoughts. Felt like unwinding and letting loose for a little." 

"Makes sense. You've done _a lot_ over this past week." 

Just then, the drunk woman swayed _too_ far like V predicted, causing her to lose her balance and fall backwards. 

While she expected to be welcomed by the cold and hard steel floor of the bar, she felt a strong arm wrap around her waist. 

"Jesus Panam! you've definitely had enough. Drink some _water_!" 

V yanked her back up, where they were now face to face. She could've _swore_ she felt Panam's lips just barely graze hers after yanking her up. It didn't help that Panam was being overly touchy on her, probably due to being extremely wasted. "I'll drink some water. But only if you give it to me." 

The ex-merc rolled her eyes. "Fine here." She offered the cup.

Panam leaned back and shook her head.

"No, I mean by _**mouth**_." The woman wrapped her arms around V's neck and whispered in her ear. It made V's neck hairs stand up and her skin had goosebumps. She shivered a little at the sudden contact and the sultry voice in her ear.

Panam was already a flirtatious woman but drunk her was **_waayyyyy_** worse. Her sex appeal was over the roof.

But V preferred Panam to do this while sober, or at least _aware_ of what she was doing. Cause right now she was drunk out of her mind and V knew she wouldn't remember much. 

"Panam you need to go to _bed_." She snatched the woman up bridal style, ignoring Panam's protests of drinking more. Reaching the girl's tent, she put Panam down who drunkedly cuddling into her blanket with a cute smile. "Ugh V. You don't know what you do to me." She groaned in bliss at the comfort of her cot.

It _always_ felt good to lay in bed after a good drinking session. 

V watched in amusement, standing at the side of Panam's bed. Making sure the girl wasn't going to throw up all over herself.

"I promise V. I'm gonna get those Panthers to tell me where to find that Fountain. Cause I want you by my side foreevverrr." She went on.

The sober woman smiled before gently caressing the other's cheek. Who hummed at the contact. She reached up and held V's hand, leaning into her touch. "Don't ever leave me V please. I don't know what I'd do without you." 

She didn't want to soak up everything Panam was going on about, she was drunk after all. But she couldn't help but burn these words into her head. Maybe there really was something forming between the two. She didn't think Panam felt anything towards her but these drunken slurs were revealing alot that the woman was keeping hidden.

They'd talk about it when they had time, V was certain of it. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. Sleep tight Panam. I'll see you tomorrow." 

The alcohol had finally worn the girl out as her eyes fluttered closed and her hand went limp against V's. 

She had a lot to think about now that some _truth_ of how Panam felt about her came about.... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted V to have some bonding time with Mitch since he's such a sensible guy. 10/10! I wonder where V and Panam are headed now that V kind of has an idea of how the other girl feels.


	4. Chapter 4

_They'd talk about it when they had time, V was certain of it. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. Sleep tight Panam. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_The alcohol had finally worn the girl out as her eyes fluttered closed and her hand went limp against V's._

_She had a lot to think about now that some truth of how Panam felt about her came about.._

_——————————_

That next morning came quick for Panam, one moment she was drinking beer after beer. The next, she’s waking up with one _hell_ of a hangover. 

And normally she’d spend time in bed to herself but today she had to venture out with V.   
Speaking of _V_ , her memory was hazy. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly _when_ Mitch and V got back. Nor could she even remember what happened after they did. Or even how she ended up in bed.   
  


Panam figured she must’ve been able to at _least_ make to her tent.   
She got up and did her morning routine before heading out.   
  


The sun was just peaking over the horizon and Panam squinted a little due to her hangover making her eyes sensitive to the bright light source.   
“Damn sun is so bright.” She grumbled as she made her ways through the camp and to V’s tent.

The entrance flap was clipped open, inviting her to walk in.   
  
  


There was V in all her _muscled_ glory. Fast asleep with her crop top shirt riding up just enough for the curve of her breast showing.   
  


Blue hair tousled from rolling around in bed all night long. She took in the view for a couple of seconds before kicking the cot.   
  


Alarming the occupant, who in turn shot up, almost reaching for her nearby katana. “Dammit Panam, I damn near _sliced_ your head off!”   
  


She laughed at the reaction she had caused the other woman. V fell back into her cot with a huff of irritation. 

“Maybe don’t leave your tent wide open for me then hm?” 

There was an unsettling silence. V would normally shoot back a snarky remark but she _sat_ there, zoned out.   
  
  


“Is...something wrong?” Panam leaned against the large chest at the end of V’s bed.   
  


“Y-no. Just had an odd experience last night. What are you here for?”   
  


V was right once again. Panam had **_no_ **recollection of what she had done the previous night. As she wasn’t about to throw it on the woman right at the start of their day.

”Did you and Mitch see something weird yesterday while scouting?”

”Nah nah. I meant with my sleep. Had a bad dream.” V lied.

”Oh well, I figured me and you can take the Panzer to that forest today? See if we can find anything?”

V stood up and started to get dressed, brush her teeth, groom herself.   
  


"I think I can fit that into my schedule. It'll be a tight squeeze though." She goaded. 

Panam rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

"Shut up. We'll leave later, I'll come for you. Got to see how everything is going with the rest of our little family."

V let out a well held groan. Heading back into her tent and staring at herself in the mirror. 

_"Get a grip!"_

The way their relationship flowed was _NOT_ helping V ignore her feelings. Everytime she tries to stomp out the tiny little spark, Panam pops up and it turns into a whole conflagration of a fire. 

It was the teasing, sometimes she felt as though Panam was being serious about past things she's said before. 

And V felt the _explicit_ scenes she was currently imagining made her need for this woman grow **tenfold**. 

There were nights back in _Night City_ when her need was so great she'd ended up masturbating to just the _thought_ of Panam. Some were **_worse_ **than others and V would end up finding herself a JoyToy to _fuck_ the feeling away. Or at least keep her feelings at bay. Unfortunately for her, all she could do was replace the JoyToy with an imaginary Panam. Letting her mind wander and afterwards she’d always felt _empty_. 

_Utterly_ disgusted by her actions. 

She decided to do some maintenance on all her weapons to distract her from anymore intrusive thoughts of Panam.

First was her prized katana that she retrieved from her battle with Oda. It's blade was long and sharp and had a cool name to go along with it. "Jinchu-Maru", it became her main weapon especially when she had to stealth around certain places during a gig. 

That and she just enjoyed the slicing part of dealing with enemies that sought after her. 

Next up was her M-170 Achilles. The weapon she used when they raided the Arasaka tower. Examining it’s magazine, she popped it out, ensuring the gun wasn't loaded before she examining the barrel itself. Cleaning it thoroughly. She took it apart, piece by piece. Nitpicking some areas she knew there was a problem in or cause a problem in the future. 

Can’t have her gun jamming in the middle of a fight.

After making sure everything was alright, V snapped it all back together like a puzzle. Loading the magazine back in with a soft _*click*_ and setting it down carefully next to her katana. Cleaning her weapons took up the perfect amount of time.

She was currently cleaning the sniper rifle Panam had gifted her.   
  


Her arm extended, biceps extended just as Panam made her way into the tent.

“Hey yo- _uh_ - _um_ -ready to go?” The flustered woman cleared her throat.

Marveling at the sight of watching V’s muscles stretch and bulge as she pulled the lever on the bolt action sniper.   
  


The chief screamed at herself for stumbling over words like some tongue tied teen speaking to her first crush. 

“Yeah let’s get going.” V replied.   
  


She slung her katana over her back along with her rifle.   
  


They weaved through their way through the camp towards the Panzer.   
  


“Just me and you?” V asked.   
  


Panam peered over her shoulder as they neared the large aircraft.   
  


“Why is that an issue?”   
  


“...Nope.” V grunted as she jumped up. Offering her hand to Panam who gladly took it.   
  


“Thanks.” Panam smiled. She brushed a little close to V than V would preferred. Face heating up as she backed away. They hopped into their usual seats.   
  
“We’re gonna go towards that forest area. I decided to take the Panzer and minimize anyone else from getting injured if something went down.”  
  


V got snug in her seat. “Lead the way.”   
  


The fly there would take some time seeing that the forest was more than 20 miles out.

Panam was racking her brain at the silence. Her and V _never_ did this.

Did she say something wrong last night? 

Did she _do_ something wrong?   
  


She decided to speak up.

“Did I..do something?”   
  


Switching the Panzer to auto-pilot, Panam unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face V.   
  
  


V’s face was unreadable. Her body language stiff.

Emerald eyes met her hazel ones.

”What makes you think you did something?

  
“Oh gee I dunno, you’ve been acting weird since this morning. You’re barely speaking to me.” Panam deadpanned.

”Well...you were kinda all over me last night.” V rubbed the back of her head.

The dread headed woman’s hand shot up to cover her mouth in shock.   
  


“I-I mean I know I’m super affectionate when I’m drunk but it was it _that_ bad?”   
  


V nodded.  
  


”Basically your drunk ass almost fell off the counter of the bar, I caught you. Tried giving you some water and you refused. Wrapped your arms around my neck and told me to give it to you by mouth. Extra emphasis on _mouth_.”

Panam sat for a millisecond before shaking her head.   
  


“You’re fuckin’ with me aren’t you? There’s no way I’d-“

V’s face said it all.   
  
The serious look in her eyes. Lips tightened into a line. Eyebrows scrunched.   
  


“Panam we really don’t need to talk about it. I get it. I didn’t take it seriously, you were drunk.”   
  
  


She started panicking inwardly. That’s not what she wanted to hear V say. But she couldn’t muster up any courage to tell her _“No I want this.”_

  
At least not now, not with V’s life at stake. Panam needed to focus.

But it was also the risk of them hurting each other worse by trying to selfishly enjoy their love for such a short time. 

“V. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You know I _care_ about you.”   
  


V felt like she a younger her again. Confessing to her first crush whom had something very similar.   
  


A gentler way of saying _“Sorry, not interested.”_

Her chest ached.   
  


It was such a delicate balance of a friendship they had. But V knew her feelings would come up eventually. That they would _ruin_ everything in due time. 

"I know you do." Was all she could reply with. What else more was there to say? To delve in? Panam was drunk and V just _happened_ to be the person she was all over. She thought about what would've happened if it was a guy in her position. Before briefly shaking the thought away, it was just going to sour her mood more.

Panam felt stuck. What could she do? Just say fuck it and risk it all? She had her own issues of opening up even though V had ripped past every wall she'd ever built. Her heart lurched to confess. But her mind told her to focus on the task at hand and handle the feelings later. 

It was like she discovered a side of herself that she never acknowledged. Her attraction to a woman was always chalked up to wanting to be like them. It had never crossed her mind that she _liked_ them. Or maybe it did and Panam was just afraid of judgment. 

"I promise we'll talk about this all in time okay? Just us, we'll ride out and everything." 

V shrugged. The woman was at a point where she was trying to detach herself from her emotions. 

The Panzer hovered into the thick forest. Tall trees towered over. Flying slowly and following trails of worn down grass from repeated walking, Panam saw a scrapped up tent in the distance. 

Remnants of people living here was littered everywhere. Snags of clothing, tire tracks on the dirt. 

Following more out of the brush, the trail had disappeared. 

Panam groaned in frustration. "Come on!" 

V looked around and found a cave not far from where the trail was. 

"Look, there's a large cave over there. Right past that...waterfall." 

Who knew there'd be so much green here. Everything was supposed to be a desert. 

They landed the Panzer in the cave, lights beaming. At first there was nothing, until they walked deeper. Finding a group of skeletons. 

With a note pad. "We are the last of the Panthers. Whoever finds this, I leave this note in case you find what we have been searching for." 

The last? Was that it? A _note_? 

Panam picked up the note, underneath lay a map. 

"This is it. Our ticket to finding that "Fountain of Youth" Mikey was talking about." She couldn't hold her excitement in. 

Jumping for joy. Grabbing V and hugging her. 

V looked happy despite the earlier conversation. Hugging her back. 

They both pulled away from the hug, the dim light of Panzer highlighting their faces enough to make out the shape of the other person. 

Here it was just them.

V and Panam. Not a mercernary. Not nomads. Not anything. Just _them_. 

Panam brought her hand up and cupped V's face. 

"V you don't understand just how much I _**love** _having you in my life. Just know that as of right now, I want to focus on saving _yours_."

V leaned into the touch. Cherishing it as much as she could. She felt at peace. Like nothing could crumble her at this moment. 

"I get it. Just know after all this is done, after our talk, I want a **real** answer."

Panam felt her heart thump. She felt dizzy off of V's scent. At how soft the woman's skin was. Trying to imprint this feeling, this moment into her brain so she'd never forget how _sweet_ it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still bummed you can't romance her in Cyberpunk lolol. I just got that teasing vibe from her. By far a great character. So how are you guys doing after this chapter?


	5. Chapter 5

_"V you don't understand just how much I **love** having you in my life. Just know that as of right now, I want to focus on saving yours."_

_V leaned into the touch. Cherishing it as much as she could. She felt at peace. Like nothing could crumble her at this moment._

_"I get it. Just know after all this is done, after our talk, I want a **real** answer."_

_Panam felt her heart thump. She felt dizzy off of V's scent. At how soft the woman's skin was. Trying to imprint this feeling, this moment into her brain so she'd never forget how sweet it was._

\---------------------------------------------------

It was time to move again. The trail was a _long_ one and Panam was determined to reach it. They _really_ had no choice if everyone wanted V to stick around. 

She had so much running through her head. The touch, the warmth of V's cheek. While also dealing with the conflict of her own feelings, being terrified to do more.

When everything was on such a fine line, teetering and falling would be drastic either way. 

This could be such an heaven sent thing. Or cause Panam to experience such a living _hell_. Was she really okay with doing that? 

When whatever they were doing now was just fine?

_....Fine?_

Scratch that, it wasn't even **satisfactory**.

The mere thought of V's smile made Panam's heart thump at such a giddy pace. She couldn't even imagine what V was thinking or feeling.

She knew V was attracted to her awhile back when they got stranded in that small building with Saul during a sandstorm. Although, Panam didn't know it was anything serious. V didn't seem that type at first until she actually got to know the girl. 

And now....here they were. 

Driving to the first landmark on the map, and luckily it wasn't too far from the forest.

Panam decided to move the Aldecaldos' camp to the first cave after burying the skeletons respectfully. While her and V travelled to the landmark. 

She couldn't really tell what the drawing was, only to look for a "large guardian standing watch at the Golden Gate"." 

They walked through the thick plant life that was flourishing around them. Brightly colored flowers thrived along the ground they paced through. 

Panam was growing impatient at trying to figure out what large guardian was she supposed to looking for. What did that even mean???

V wasn't speaking much as she checked around, keeping her eyes peeled for anything peculiar. She spotted a seemingly large stone in the near distance that was oddly shaped. 

"I see something over there." 

Grabbing Panam's wrist and leading her to the large...statue? It looked like something out of a fantasy video game. A griffin? V tapped her chin, trying to recall what they were called when she used to delve into video games back in Night City. 

"Oh wow.."

Panam marveled at the intricate designs on it. The gold shined bright and solid without any show of damage or weathering. 

A little ways behind it was the gate that the note stated. 

V walked up, noticing that one of the gates had toppled over.   
  


Just like the _griffin_ statue it barely had any damage despite falling, seemed like the environment around was not as strong.   
  


The stone around the gate was moss covered, cracked and looked like it had broken off.

“Be careful.” V held her hand up to alert Panam from walking any farther.

She noticed a platform on the ground that was slightly lifted more than the rest. Like a lever almost that could trigger something.   
  


Panam squinted at the panel and carefully placed her foot on it.   
  


And the stone floor in front opened, rusted metal spikes shooting up.   
  
The woman yelped and jumped back, grabbing onto V.

”Jesus what the fuck!! That scared the shit outta me!”

V let out a snort as she tried to contain her laughter.

The two ventured deeper into the open entrance, lighting up a torch that Panam preemptively packed just in case.

It felt kind of _eery_. This wasn’t like when they used to do gigs together. Shooting and killing Raffens.   
  


No machines running from what they could hear.   
  


It was mostly silent besides a dribble of water dripping from the cracks of the cave.   
  


And it was dark. Panam felt like her eyes were playing tricks on her, growing just tad bit paranoid the deeper they walked.

She gulped and furrowed her eyebrows.

”V...”

V was walking in front of her and came to a stop, turning her head to look at Panam.

”Yeah?”

”Can you walk beside me?”

The other woman slowed her pace. Arms just grazing each other.   
  


“Feels weird in here huh?” V asked.

”It does. I don’t know what it is about this place. We just gotta find what we’re looking for.”   
  


Supposably the note stated they had to go to these separate locations and find pieces of a key. That would open the door to the fountain.

The cave morphed into beautiful architecture that looked ancient. Well at least before Panam and V’s time.

Unbothered and flawless cobblestone surrounded them as they walked down the long stretch of a hallway.   
  


At the end, there was a door. Unlike the ones in Night City where you can press where you want to go, it had some type of contraption, pieces that were meant to go into the door itself for them to continue.   
  


V remembered them passing three door ways on their walk and turned around hastily. Panam was quick to follow. “What is it?” She asked.   
  


“There’s pieces that go in that door. Remember the doorways we passed? Maybe they have something.” 

Pacing around in the dark cavern, V entered the first doorway she spotted, Panam hot on her heels.   
The floor was littered in debris. A low humming was heard in the distance as they cautiously stepped in.   
  


Suddenly the room lit up, bright orbs glowing above them. Making the two women jump in shock. 

“What the hell..this is really some _mystical_ shit.” Panam muttered as she looked up at the orbs.   
  


“Glad I decided to leave with you when I did, would’ve never thought I’d see something like this or doing anything _close_ to this.” V smiled. Her back was turned away from Panam and she thanked god with the way her cheeks heated up.   
  
  


“Well..we‘ll definitely have _more_ adventures.” She looked around the room, torch still in hand. The humming became louder and the two saw a large pillar, with what seemed to be the piece they needed, floating atop it.   
  
  


Nothing in this room looked like anything V had seen before. Her eyes marveled at the outwardly symbols around the walls. The trim on the pillar.   
  


She carefully reached and grabbed the piece, making the humming cease.

The room seemed to power down and they quickly moved to the next two rooms to do the same thing.

Jamming the pieces into place, the door groaned and shifted into the space of the wall. Granting them passage to next area.

It was simple enough, a long skinny walkway to what seemed to be the piece they needed for the fountain.   
  


A light shining down on the piece.   
  
  


“Is that it? This seems too easy.” Panam raised an eyebrow as they walked.

”It really do-WHOA.” V hopped back as a large blade sweeper across the front of them. Seems like it wasn’t going to be an easy feat. It didn’t help that she was suddenly feeling weak.   
  


She moved back a little and fell to her knees.   
  


“V! What’s wrong?! Is it the relic?” Panam knelt down next to her.   
  


“Ugh..I- _fuck_ this hurts. We have to get that piece.” V shook her head and tried to stand but her world started to spin. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter earlier haha, I had accidentally clicked the post button instead of saving to my drafts!!! xD

_”It really do-WHOA.” V hopped back as a large blade sweeper across the front of them. Seems like it wasn’t going to be an easy feat. It didn’t help that she was suddenly feeling weak._

_She moved back a little and fell to her knees._   
  


_“V! What’s wrong?! Is it the relic?” Panam knelt down next to her._   
  


_“Ugh..I-fuck this hurts. We have to get that piece.” V shook her head and tried to stand but her world started to spin._

_\----------------------------------------------------_

Panam looked over at V before turning away to the _daunting_ walkway ahead. 

"Panam wait! Don't go, I'll go." V stated. 

The other woman whipped her ahead around, it was just like when Panam had gotten shot and V told her to stay put in the truck. 

"I _told_ you to sit your ass down V!" She snapped. This trait of V's was a constant annoyance for Panam. She was too hard-headed for her own good. _Always_ trying to be the one to take the risk. As if her own life _didn't_ matter. 

With her newfound anger boiling in her chest Panam weaved through the swinging blades, adrenaline pumping in her ears. 

One wrong move and she'd lose a leg, an arm, or you know, her _life_.

It didn't help that the chip in V's head was causing her to slowly die. V was just one big fiery fuck of disaster in some ways and Panam seriously questioned how even managed to make it this far. 

The piece was held in a glass casing, lined in gold. 

And Panam snatched it quickly, causing the blades to stop working, the room lights shut off. 

The piece seemed to keep things running in whatever deep cavern they were as everything _creaked_ and _groaned_ to a stop. And V was resting against the wall, blacked out from the pain. 

She picked the unconscious woman up, slinging one arm over her shouders and dragged her back to the Panzer. The large cave entrance showed there was a horrible rainstorm outside. So Panam thought it'd best for them to just sit tight until it died down. 

Thunder roared in the sky, causing the cave to rumble and rocks to fall as the ground shook from the intense noise.

Panam rested V against her and leaned back, draping the spare blanket from the Panzer's storage on them. It was suddenly cold, probably due to the rain storm outside. 

A mixture of worry and anger was flowing through Panam and she was definitely going to say something to V about it. Cause she couldn't have V trying to act like a hero all the damn time if she wants to live. But for now, she let the feelings dissipate and cuddled into the unconscious woman to try and get some shut eye.

\----- **Some hours later** \-----

Panam stirred awake, V was still unconscious, much to her dismay. 

She pressed her hand to V's forehead.  
"She's burning up even more." 

Seeing that V's face was stuck in a pained expression and her labored breathing put Panam in concerned state.

Lifting someone into a large vehicle like the Panzer was no easy task and she slumped in her seat for a few seconds to breathe after carrying the heavy woman.

The Panzer hummed to life, lifting up off the ground as Panam turned the vehicle around. 

Seeing the forest in broad daylight after it had rained was relaxing in a way. The trees swayed with the gentle breeze, grass was tall and thick. Made Panam think of something like...a paradise. Wish she could've been here with V on _different_ circumstances. 

She looked over at V to check on her. 

_"Oh..V. You irritated the shit out of me earlier. But damn you're for making me feel bad now, you're in so much pain."_

She thought about their little interaction in the cave. How she was beginning to dig herself deep with her emotions. Hell, V affected her _**so**_ much.

Past boyfriends she had broken up with were always flicked off and just told to _fuck off_. But V? Panam **_knew_ **she just could not have lived life without the hardheaded woman in it. Which _scared_ her.

She sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose as the Panzer was put in auto-pilot.  
 _  
Who knew it'd be so useful?_

Leaning back in her seat, Panam let her hair loose.

She shouldn't have touched V like that. She didn't want to lead V on while Panam focuses on trying to save her friend's life. Maybe V didn't really care if she died? She just didn't seem as driven as Panam was when they first talked about it. And now Panam wondered if everything she was doing was _worth_ it. She sighed and shook the thought off. 

_"Who am I kidding? Of course she's **worth** it."_

\------ **Back at the Aldecaldos Camp** \-----

Mitch and Carol handled getting V out of the Panzer while Mikey spoke to Panam. 

"Wow...so it isn't a legend huh. What happened out there? Are you okay?" He put a hand on her arm.   
  


She ignored it. “Yeah it’s real. And I’m fine Mikey.” The hand slid off her arm as he replied.

”Ah okay _cool_ , hey-I was wondering if we could have a drink or two tonight?” 

Mikey wasn’t an ugly looking man, definitely on the attractive side. He was lighter skinned than V. Chiseled jawline and these bright blue eyes. He had short black hair. And had a fully equipped body packaged with a 6 pack and bulging muscles.  
  
At this distance Panam noticed a couple things up close about him that she hadn’t before. Well she never really _cared_ to notice anything more than she needed to.   
  
“A drink? Just me and you and a couple beers?”

He nodded eagerly, it was kind of cute in a way.   
Panam pondered the thought before her mind raced back to V.   
  


“I’ll have to see.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be at the fire later tonight once everyone’s in bed if you wanna hang.” He walks away and Panam makes her way to V’s tent.

Mitch waiting for her.

“I see Mikey has taken a liking to you.”

She rolled her eyes at the response before asking.

”How is she?”

And his face turned grim.

Leading her into the tent, V was still out like a light. 

A bloody rag on the table next to her bed. 

“She’s coughing up a lot of blood. And she’s pretty weak, I don’t think she’ll wake up anytime soon.”   
  
Panam felt her heart sink.

“Are you saying that she’s going to be like this for more than a couple hours? _Fuck_.”   
  


Mitch pulled her into a hug.   
  


“We don’t know Panam. All we know is V is way stronger than your average guy.”

Panam was frightened by the news.   
  


Another coughing fit happened as V started hacking up blood again, Mitch rushing to hold her upright and clean the blood leaking from her mouth.

Panam felt tears well up in her eyes as she looked at V’s pained face. Her face was pale. She was shuddering. And she was groaning in pain. 

Could V really fight this for however long until her body eats away at her? Would there be a day that V decides to just give up....and die? She needed a little break from her thoughts. 

\----- **Some hours later** \-----

After some time of tending to V, and a tiny nap, Panam headed out of the tent and to the small fire crackling in the distance.

Mikey was sitting by his lonesome, face brightening up as Panam sat down.   
  


“I see you made it, beer?”   
  


He held up a bottle for her and she nodded.   
  


“Thanks.” Panam took the bottle and twisted it open.   
  


The beer was cold compared to the fire warming her legs.   
  
“Soo how is everything with you being a chief?” 

Mikey attempted to make small talk.   
  


“It’s...a lot. A lot more responsibility and I’m looking out for more than myself.”

“Seems like it. You’re either helping everyone around camp or out with V. You guys are such _best_ friends.”

Panam nodded. “Yeah we’re good friends. V’s helped the Aldecaldos more than an outsider should have.”

 _“Best friends doesn’t even cut close to what we are.”_

Mikey scooted closer to her. And she didn’t exactly mind the presence as she took another swig of her bottle. 

His eyes straying from hers.   
  
She could practically feel his intense gaze wander all over her.   
  
It made her shift a little in her spot as she readjusted herself and cleared her throat.

Blue eyes shifting back up to her hazel ones.  
  
Mikey leaned in, breath smelling of beer. His hand resting on Panam’s leg.   
  


“I think me and you could be _more_ than friends.”   
  


The thought crossed her mind. Maybe a quick and stress releasing fuck was what she needed. Her judgment wasn’t as clear as when she was sober.   
  
  


Suddenly his lips crashed into hers and she was stuck for a moment in shock. Planting her hands on his shoulders she pushed him off and he immediately looked hurt.   
  


“Did I come on too strong? I’m sorry.” He sat back.   
  


Panam felt like she was gonna regret doing this. Although in this moment, she was stressed, amped up, and didn’t have a care in the world with this alcohol in her system.   
  


No words were said as she crashed her lips to his in a needy hunger to _cope_ with everything she had bottled in.   
  


Her arms wrapped his neck and he supported her with strong, muscled arms around her waist. 

The weight of what she had done quickly settled in her stomach as she quickly moved away. "I-I can't, I don't know what I was thinking. I have to go." She gasped before quickly dismissing herself.   
  


With some new-found guilt pooling in her gut, Panam retreated to the nearby cliff. Which gave a perfect view of the camp, but also the scenery of the forested area.   
  


_“Fuck. Fuck! What is **wrong** with me?”_ She scolded herself as she rested her face in her palms.   
  


The alcohol in her system had amplified everything and just turned it all into one big, muddy, brain _shit_ show. 

Emotions on such a high, Panam didn’t know what to do with herself. She yearned for release. Preferably from V, and she felt like a complete _idiot_ that she just threw herself to what was readily available, _**Mikey**_.

She thought about what V would say or how she would look. Should she even tell V? Is this even worth talking about right now? When Panam should be focused on getting that next piece?

Curling up on the cliff, Panam stared at the sky for a brief moment before drifting off.

———————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that people like this fic! And also so happy that I'm not the only one in LOVE with Panam and saw the potential chemistry between the two!!!!elfdlksl;dfj  
> Happy holidays everyone!!! Stay safe!
> 
> **I feel like with Panam’s laser focus on trying to save V’s life, it could also put a strain on their everyday relationship they have now. Especially with what just happened 😬

**Author's Note:**

> Pls go easy on me. I’m totally writing this to satisfy my want for her xD


End file.
